We are leaving.
There. I said it. We are leaving Recife and moving back to the US. I have made it clear that only a fool would move back BEFORE the election (considering the hijacking of the previous two), but I am now that fool, moving back to jump into the fray when it is at its most intense. Unfortunately, I have never let politics be a purely spectator sport; I am in there making myself sick and stressing out with the best of them. I am hoping that this 2+-year break will give me a little perspective on the event, but I really wish that I were voting at the consulate instead.
Of course there are a million other reasons besides politics that I want to stay here, and a million reasons to go home, but it comes down to this--it is time.
It is time to do something other than teach English, it is time for my husband to do what he wants to do, it is time to be surrounded by family and friends, and it is time to see what else is out there for us. I have always known that Recife is not the place where I want to spend the rest of my days, but it has become home and comfortable. I really like the people I work with and my general work environment, I am finally getting involved in some interesting projects at the Federal university, and we have a great little rented beach house with friends to escape to (when we can get dog sitters), but when it comes down to it, it is not enough. I miss my friends and family. I miss having people to depend on. Here we live in the world of acquaintances, they are great, but they do not fill the emotional need I have for my people.
I have no idea if this move back is permanent or temporary, but it is the next step. It is almost as though I have stepped outside and am watching myself flip channels, instead of planning the next beach vacation, I am thinking about bringing my garden back to life, getting chickens and goats, and planning mountain biking and camping expeditions. All of the things that I cut completely out of my life by moving here are slowly starting to creep back into my thoughts. Yesterday, I caught myself visualizing the mountain bike paths in the foothills, the ride to the food coop, and the view from the porch of the cabin.
Historically, I have not dealt well with these transition periods and have completely broken down. I am trying to avoid this behavior this time. My inspirational life coach (aka my closest friend here) has been propping me up with positive energy.
So that is my mantra--take advantage of this time and do everything possible. It is not the time for regrets, but for moving forward and doing new things.
3 comments:
Wow!!!! I know what a hard decision this was, but I also know what it is like to know deep in your bones that it is time for home. I miss NM so much, but I don't know that I'll ever be there again in any permanent way. Ever since my mom moved to CA, it's been different...few friends left, no room of my own, etc.
Increasingly, Maputo feels like home, which is funny because it's the country in which I blend in the least and feel the least like I am a part of "normal" life. But whatever, this is a weird place. :)
Best of luck with the transition. I think you are going back at an incredible time. Boa sorte e beijos!
thanks Ali! You always have a place to stay in albuquerque with us (with high speed internet).
It seems like you have really created a great community there and have great friends. I am still planning on a visit, so stay awhile!
Recife is great, but Sam isn't officially working and that is really hard. Sigh. I don't know where we are going to end up, but NM is always a great place to regroup.
Thanks! High speed internet is a big draw since my Dad still has dial-up at his house in Tome.
Keep me posted on the next chapter.
beijos.
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